“Are you practicing your profession?”

That’s what Pastor Dave DeSelm asked yesterday (Sunday). In his context, Dave was reminding us who attend Fellowship Missionary Church to continue to “walk the talk.”

As a Christian, I found Dave’s use of the word “profession” fascinating and motivating.

As a communication consultant, I found it exciting and mind stretching.

We business professionals use that word and its derivatives (e.g. “professionals”) without realizing we are in the business of professing: openly communicating who we are by what we say and do.

Questions:

Are we, indeed, practicing what we profess? Are we living the careers with which we resonate?

If not, what are we actually professing? Because, like it or not, we are.

01-14-2013

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Take charge of 2013. Stop relinquishing control to “it.”

Choose active voice over passive.

Not: It has come to my attention…
Instead: I have learned…

Not: It is recommended…
Instead: I recommend…

Not: It has to be settled.
Instead: We need to settle this.

Not: It is a pleasure working with you.
Instead: I enjoy working with you.

Not: It is active voice that makes your ideas clear and strong.
Instead: Be clear and strong; use active voice.

01-07-2013

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INVIGORATE YOUR VOCABULARY, wk 3:

I invite you to take another step toward erudition: Here are the five words for this week to increase our daily working vocabulary, which Tony Robbins says is approximately 300: a deplorable amount:

•  ERUDITE: characterized by great knowledge; learned or scholarly
•  DEPLORABLE: causing or being a subject for grief or regret; lamentable. (2) censure, reproach or disapproval: wretched.
•  SOLICITOUS: anxious or concerned (about, for, etc.)
•  JOVIAL:  characterized by a hearty, joyous humor or a spirit of good fellowship.
•  LUDICROUS: causing laughter because of absurdity; provoking or deserving derision (see last week’s word); ridiculous; laughable.

12-12-2012

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Here is how to simultaneously attract prospects, complement, intrigue, inform and motivate–all in one sentence!

After you introduce yourself (first and last name), say your title and your company’s name, then say this: “(Target groups) hire me because they___.

For example: Discerning businesses and individuals hire me because they want to excel in their communication skills–verbal and non-verbal, engage their listeners, enhance their reputations, and increase their profits.

Oh, the amazing power of words!

12-05-2012

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INVIGORATE YOUR VOCABULARY, wk 2:

Here are the five words for this week to increase our daily working vocabulary, which Tony Robbins says is approximately 300: an abysmally small number:

•  SUPERCILIOUS: haughtily disdainful or contemptuous
•  CALLOUS: hardened. insensitive; indifferent; unsympathetic
•  DERISIVE: characterized or expressing ridicule or mockery
•  POMPOUS: characterized by an ostentatious display of dignity or importance (or pomp)
•  SAGACIOUS: having or showing acute mental discernment and keen practical sense; shrewd.

11-26-2012

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I’m re-introducing five words a week into my daily vocabulary. (See INVIGORATE YOUR VOCABULARY). This is what I did this past week to inculcate them:

• I partnered with my husband Greg.
• I wrote the words on 3X5 cards which I affixed to the refrigerator and bathroom mirror.
• I said the five words repeatedly.
• Greg and I used them at dinner.
• I created various short paragraphs containing all five.
• This morning, I incorporated them into my devotions. (Praying and Journaling to God and building vocabulary: It doesn’t get much better than that!)

With this week’s words (See INVIGORATE YOUR VOCABULARY, Wk 2), I will be more intentional and use them with other beings  besides God and Greg.

11-26-2012

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INVIGORATE YOUR VOCABULARY:

I’m motivated to increase my daily vocabulary. Will you join me?

Two weeks ago, Tony Robbins cited the average daily vocabulary consists or 300 words–words we unthinkingly fall back on.

Starting this week, my husband Greg and I will be using five specific words repeatedly to burn them into our daily vocabulary. They are common words–nothing esoteric.

Each week, I’ll choose a variety. Here are this week’s words:

• preposterous: completely contrary to nature, reason or common sense; absurd
• impeccable: faultless; flawless. Irreproachable
• anemic: lacking power, vigor, vitality, or colorfulness. Listless, weak
• pragmatic: pertaining to a practical point of view or consideration
• giddy: frivolous and light-hearted; impulsive, flighty

11-19-2012

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In business, a first impression is priceless. So is the 14th impression.

It’s that handshake–that greeting right before the business meeting begins. It’s honoring the other by standing to greet the other person. And we women are no longer exempt. Stand–unless it is not possible or if you’re seated farther back in a booth at a restaurant.

A recent article by etiquette/protocol consultant, columnist, and friend, Karen Hickman emphasizes the importance of instilling these basics.

11-14-2012

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Do you need a reason to increase your working vocabulary?

Anthony Robbins, in his recent article CHANGE YOUR WORDS, CHANGE YOUR LIFE, says, “According to Compton’s Encyclopedia, the English language contains some 500,000 words. Yet the average person’s working vocabulary consists of 2,000—0.5% of the entire language. And the number of words we use most frequently—the words that make up our habitual vocabulary? For most people, it averages 200-300 words.”

Here’s a suggestion: Choose five words you’ve read or heard and use them today. Choose five different ones tomorrow. Together, we can bring up that abysmal average!

11-05-2012

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Successfully communicating who we are and what we do hinges on how well we construct and deliver our messages.

Achieving and maintaining top-notch communication skills is an ongoing process.

Here are some suggestions:
Ask for feedback, read books and articles written by exceptional writers, listen to and watch riveting presenters–and take notes, hire a communication coach, attend communication skills workshops, seek out accountability partners to point out your grammar mistakes and verbal clutter, ask to have your correspondence proofread–and return the favor, join toastmasters, and continue to read these weekly communication tips!

Other suggestions?

10-25-2012

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Grow your vocabulary, Suggestion #3:

To say the precise word: rank your words ahead of time. Make 5 columns denoting degrees and fill them with alternatives. For example, I put “awesome” in column 5. In column 1, I would put “all right, ordinary, okay, fine,” etc. That way, I won’t be tempted to use “awesome” to describe a trip to the grocery store.

To read my opinion on the use of the word “awesome,” please read my blog “Is Everything Actually Awesome or Cool?”  http://www.theverbaledge.com/blog/  (Scroll to the bottom.)

10-22-2012

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Warning: Verbal disclaimers are hazardous to relationships.

When someone says, “I mean no disrespect but…,” what do you immediately brace yourself for? To be disrespected.

Verbal disclaimers pre-condition us for the inevitable. Who is anybody kidding?

And the message is clear because negatives words do not register. We actually hear, “I mean disrespect.”

Here are some other examples:

• I don’t mean to interrupt…
• Don’t take this as a putdown…
• I don’t mean to criticize…

The remedy? Drop the disclaimer, think before you speak, and communicate in a clear and respectful win/win manner.

What verbal disclaimers cause you to bristle?

 

Presenter’s Group:

Warning: Verbal disclaimers are hazardous to relationships.

When people say, “I mean no disrespect but…,” we brace ourselves to be disrespected.

What verbal disclaimers cause you to bristle?

10-08-2012

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In honor of National Punctuation Day (September 24th), here are two uses for brackets:

• to change a word in a quote for clarification purposes:  “[Punctuation marks] tell the reader how to hum the tune.”(1)
• as parentheses within parentheses: The life-changing punctuation document (covered with dust in the [dilapidated] historical museum) is worth scrutinizing.

Happy punctuating!  ?{;<(./:),!

(1) Lynn Truss, Eats, Shoots and Leaves.

9-24-2012

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Grow your vocabulary, Suggestion #2:

Choose five words a week and use them at least once in conversations or writing.

Last week I said the word “tangential” TWICE! I had never used it before. In fact, I wasn’t sure what it meant–until last week.

I learned it and intentionally wove it into two different conversations.

The weaving-in part was automatic because, at the beginning of the week, I envisioned several possible scenarios and wrote many sentences containing “tangential” and the other four words, which I also used.

As it turned out, the situations in which I used “tangential” had nothing to do with those possible scenarios–tangential information I thought you would appreciate!

9-10-12

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Grow your vocabulary, Suggestion #1:

Every time you see or hear a word you haven’t used in a few months, write it or record it. You will accumulate a list of fascinating words, which you can read or listen to when you have those extra moments.

It works! That word is now at the top of your mind.

So, instead of being tempted to repeat mindless, knee-jerk words such as “awesome” and “cool,” which are at the top of all of our minds because we constantly hear them, you can be INTENTIONAL and use the appropriate word from your list.

9-4-12

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More confusing negative phrases we don’t realize we say:

>>Don’t say: Wouldn’t you agree?
>>Say instead: Do you agree?
>>Don’t say: You don’t know where the restroom is, do you? (I heard that while on vacation.)
>>Say: Where are the restrooms?
>>Don’t say: More times than not…
>>Say: Usually
>>Don’t say: Don’t forget to… (A person has to first visualize forgetting to not forget.)
>>Say instead: Remember to…
For an in-depth list of confusing negative phrases–click on the blog tab for my updated article, “You Don’t Say”
>> You’ll find it fascinating! (Not: You won’t be disappointed.)

8-26-12

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To capitalize or not to capitalize?
Capitalize when a title is part of the name or if the title is used instead of the name.

Examples of both:
>>Tom, Mom and I welcomed President John Smith of XYZ Corporation.
>>Tom, my mom and I welcomed John Smith, the president of XYZ Corporation.

8-11-12

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By eliminating two words, you can create active, succinct sentences.
The words?  There is…There are…There were…
Examples:
>>Don’t say: There is a dog that barks.
>>Say instead: A dog barks.
>>Don’t say: She knows there were better alternatives.
>>Say instead: She knows better alternatives existed.
>>Don’t say: There are more examples I could give you.
>>Say instead: I could give you more examples.

8-4-12

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Expunge your verbal clutter.
I mean, the fact of the matter is, it’s probably kinda one of those
pretty cool things you, basically, really really need to do each and
every time. To be real honest with you, that being said, you just
actually need to do this! It’s, like, awesome! Do you know what I
mean? …Um…Whatever.

7-28-12

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What day? When?!
Proper word placement will avoid confusion. My broadcasting experience reinforced that.

For example:
>>At noon, we received the news release for the ribbon cutting.
>>We received the news release for the ribbon cutting at noon.
>>This week, company is making plans increase its workforce.
>>The company is making plans to increase its workforce this week.

Today, you’ve considered yet another way to ensure you communicate with clarity.

7-14-12

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Use those infinitives! They are more direct and grammatically correct than “on” and “and”.

Example:
>>Don’t say:  ”I’m planning on introducing the boss.”
>>Say: “I’m planning to introduce the boss.”
>>Don’t say: “The manager will try and contact the client.
>>Say: “The manager will try to contact the client.

The best sentence: “The manager will contact the client.” (Good managers don’t “try”, they “do.”)

7-2-12

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When comparing two of anything: contracts, proposals, cities, skills, etc., the word to use is better. Use best when comparing three or more.

The same rule applies for words ending in er versus est:
Examples:
>>I have two children; the older one lives in Turkey.
>>Mike is the funnier of the two comedians.
>>We are accepting the lower bid of the two proposals.
>>Lisa is the friendliest employee we have.

Make this a better week than last week…and the best week ever!

6-23-12

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Two sentences that serve me (and others) well:

>>”Tell me more.”
This shows I’m listening, engaged, relinquishing control and honoring the person speaking.

>>”What else would you like to say?”
As a TV reporter who also produced my stories, I loved asking this question! The answers were fascinating and high energy: perfect sound bites! Asking this question invites people to go in directions known only to them. Consequently, the conversations–or the TV stories–take intriguing twists!

What else would you like to say?

6-18-12
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Treat gerunds like the nouns they are and not the verbs they resemble. Here are examples of “ing” nouns–gerunds–versus the verbs: (Notice the use of the possessive adjectives.)

Correct:
He is whining (verb).
Whining (noun) irritates clients.
Bob’s whining (noun) irritates clients. (Whose whining?)
His whining (noun) irritates clients.
NOT: Him whining irritates clients.

I am networking.
My networking added three clients. (Whose networking?)
NOT: Me networking added three clients.

Your using this correctly is another indication of your professionalism.

6-11-12
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It is I, Elizabeth.
Even though it sounds wrong, the correct phrase is “It is I.” Not “It is me.”
It is also she, he, we, they. Linking verbs such as is, was, seem, appear, link the two subjects.

Years ago, my mother Millie Nulf taught us how to make this phrase make sense. She said to mentally finish the thought: Q: “Is Elizabeth there?” A: “This is she (who is answering the phone, etc.)”
Unlike most other grammar rules, this one has some wiggle room. “It is me” is being tolerated.

However, it is we who routinely say it correctly who give stability to the world!

6-4-12
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A preposition is something to avoid ending a sentence with. (Avoid using prepositions at the ends of sentences.)

Examples:
>>From what speaker did you learn that? not: What speaker did you learn that from?
>>To whom are you listening? not: Who are you listening to?
>>For what do you need that? not: What do you need that for?

Also, some sentences should not even contain prepositions:
Examples:
>>Where is he going to?
>>Where does she live at?

So, which sentence is the one with which you resonated?

5-28-12
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This week: solving the mind-paralyzing hyphenating conundrum.

We are to hyphenate compound adjectives that precede the nouns they describe. This seldom-pondered rule is often ignored because it is not perceived as a hard-fast one.

Here’s the confusing element: Following that noun, the adjectives are not hyphenated! So the conundrum is mind paralyzing and the often-ignored rule is seldom pondered and not perceived to be hard fast.

Happy get-it-right hyphenating!

5-21-12
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This week’s tip:
We need to think before asking questions that cause others to question our confidence and intelligence.
Examples:
Can you spell your name for me? (I would hope you can!) Instead say: Please spell your name.
Can I ask a question? (You just did.)
Can I interrupt? (Once again, you just did.)

5-14-12
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“I’ll see if I can’t get that information to you today.” Why would I tell you I would work to NOT get information to you?

We often repeat what we’ve heard others say and don’t scrutinize the phrases for content.
This week, let’s see if we CAN rid our sentences of the negative words that derail our communication.

For several examples of phrases laced with unintended negatives, check out “You Don’t Say!” posted last week on the Verbal Edge website.

5-5-12
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Before writing or speaking, consider the definitions and connotations of the words you use.

“If the language is not correct, then what is said is not what is meant; if what is said is not what is meant, then what ought to be done remains undone.” >>Confucius

(This appears to be an age-old problem!)

5-1-2012

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You Don’t Say!

We speak in negatives without realizing it. We say such things as:

• He couldn’t care less.
• I’ll see if I can’t drop by.
• It wouldn’t hurt to buy some milk and eggs.
• That’s nothing short of a miracle.
• We couldn’t ask for better friends.
• That’s awfully nice.
• That’s not half bad.

I’ve spent a half year compiling a list of negative phrases. (What fun!) Check out my newest blog entitled “You Don’t Say!” click on the blog tab.

You’ll be amazed at what you are actually saying! (I was!)

4-30-2012

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Avoid verbal clutter by deleting redundancies.
Examples:

• refer back, revert back, report back, advanced planning, consensus of opinion, free gift, actual fact, every single time, entire total, dead body, the reason why, the single best/worst, close proximity, honest truth, real truth, olive green, unpaid volunteer

More redundancies exist. If you can think of any, please add them to this list. Thank you!

4-23-2012
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Subject/Verb Agreement:
To accomplish this, ignore all prepositional phrases between the subject and verb.
Example:

• One of the projects is finished.
• The projects for that company are on schedule.
• The employee with the skills and over all the interns deserves a bonus.
• Grammar, throughout the years, has changed.

4-16-2012
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Spell check is not always your friend. Scrutinize before you click.
I learned this lesson a few years ago. I thought I ended an email with “Conscientiously Yours”. However, in my rush to get the email out, I quickly accepted spell check’s correction and sent the email that actually ended with “Contentiously Yours”!
I immediately called the business and apologized for the unintended insult. The owner dismissed the situation and laughed at the irony. I, however, silently vowed never to be too busy to READ what I select–every syllable!

4-9-2012
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A verbal challenge:
During this week, positively frame everything you say. This is a test of your verbal skills AND your attitude. This means no gossiping or complaining. If you need to handle a negative situation, reframe your approach.
Examples:

• You’ll appreciate that the project will be on your desk, mistake-proof, by Thursday. Instead of: I’m sorry, the project won’t be done by Wednesday.
• I’ll be glad to make the coffee. Instead of: Me make the coffee? Are you crazy?!
• My pleasure. Instead of: No problem.
• She’s exhausted and has had a tough week. Instead of: She’s such a ______!

You’ll have at least two more people doing this with you: My husband Greg and I.

4-2-2012
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Don’t default to the apostrophe to pluralize numbers or letters. Treat them as words.
Examples:

• CEOs
• 1950s
• V.P.s
• 100s
• PTAs.

If something belongs to many executives, write: CEOs’ bonuses doubled in the 1990s for those who were in their 40s.
One executive’s possession: The CEO’s communication skills sealed the billion-dollar deal.

3-27-2012

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“You’re” or “your”:
This confusion is just as widespread as “too” vs. “to”. (See my previous grammar tip.)
Simply put: “You’re” means you are. “Your” does not. “Your” is possessive. Period.
Examples:

• Your cat. Your career.
• Your use of the words you’re writing communicates it own message.
• You’re the composer of your thoughts and words.

(By the way, when in doubt, write out “you are.” It’s more professional, too.)

• You are right, _____!

Something isn’t very true, extremely impossible, really inevitable. I push my clients to let the foundational words do their work. Qualifiers dilute.

(And here’s my nemesis: pretty cool! What does that mean! What does cool mean? Does pretty weaken cool it or strengthen cool? Here’s an example where the listener has to do all the defining!

3-19-2012

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Are you writing “to” when you mean “too”?
I see this mistake frequently–even in emails from people who are, otherwise, excellent writers.

“Too,” the longer of the two words, has the longer list of meanings: extremely, more than desirable, also, very or indeed.
“To” is a preposition: it connects
Example:

• People are not too educated or too successful to misuse these words.
• These too frequent misspellings may be the result of being oblivious to the difference.
•  They could be too confident too.

Here’s to learning!

3-12-2012

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Singular or Plural?
When you use the words “or” or “nor”, you are choosing one or the other–not both. If one of those choices is plural and the others are singular, the word closest to the verb determines if the verb is plural or singular.

For example:

• Either the girls, their parents, or the other team stays.
• Neither the dogs nor the cat likes caviar.
• He guesses his father or his sisters are singing.
• The salespersons or the boss helps me. (Our eyes or ears need to adjust to that one!)

3-5-2012

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Think before using GET or GOT. The correct word might be HAVE, HAS or HAD.

• Not: “Do you GOT your gloves?”
• Correct: “Do you HAVE your gloves?

Also, using HAVE or HAS as helping words doesn’t dignify the faux pas.

• Not: He’s got three sisters. (The “he’s” means he has, so you’re saying, “He has got three sisters.)
• Correct: “He has three sisters.”

Do you GET this? Do you HAVE the concept? (Both are correct.)

2-27-2012

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De-murking the WELL/GOOD conundrum: When do we use WELL and GOOD?
WELL is an adverb. It modifies verbs and answers the question How:

• He slept well, ran well, spoke well, worked well.

GOOD is an adjective. It modifies nouns and answers the question WHAT (kind/type):

• He had a good sleep, good run, good speech and he did a good job. Usually when you use “good,” a noun follows it.

So, heed well this good advice!

3-13-2012
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A telephone surveyor asked me to choose among:

1. fair, slightly unfair, unfair, or strongly unfair.
2. not very convinced, somewhat convinced, very convinced.
3. somewhat agreed, agreed, or strongly agreed.

Something is either fair or unfair. Convincing or not. We either agree or we don’t. Those words embody their meanings. Qualifying words strip them.

The words fair, unfair, agreed and convince are absolutes–they embody their entire meaning. Any gradient of these concepts require different words such as reasonable, comply or sway.

2-6-2012
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This week, let’s stretch our vocabulary by eliminating the qualifier words “very” and “really” and let’s go for the perfect word.

• Instead of saying, “That’s really easy.”
• Say, “That’s simple, effortless, feasible,” etc.

To read more on this, check out my blog at this website.

1-30-2012
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When speakers appear uncertain, their listeners remain unconvinced and struggle to connect.

To exude confidence, use a strong voice, maintain eye contact, and expunge words as “um, kinda, sorta, I guess, I’ll try.”

Replace with words such as “I will, I agree, I am convinced, YES.”

1-28-2012
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Use caution with trendy adjectives that may mean the opposite of what you intend. For example, in the past month I’ve heard:

1. “We’re going to have a ridiculously great church service today.”
2. ” That’s an outrageous restaurant!”

Remember that “ridiculous” comes from the verb “ridicule” and “outrageous” comes from “outrage.”

1-16-2012
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